


How to save a life

by Veronica1986



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Dark Emma, Dark Emma but not exactly, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, POV Emma, Rumple is a son of a bitch as always, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 12:05:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11440512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronica1986/pseuds/Veronica1986
Summary: What would you do if you had a single chance to save your family even if it cost you a high price? Emma Swan does not hesitate to decide to save her without imagining the price she will have to pay for it. An irresistible offer and a price that can cost you eternity. How far would you go to save a life?





	How to save a life

**Author's Note:**

> Despite the fanfic title, I would not say it has so much to do with music that bears the same name.
> 
> It was a crazy idea that came out of nowhere (as sometimes happens to me) and I decided to write.
> 
> And sorry for the possible grammar or spelling mistakes. English wasn't my mother tongue and I don't have a beta.

 

Rainy mornings, cold afternoons and lonely nights. None of this bores me any more. Not after you spend your whole life and also your eternity accustomed to it. The thick, strong drops that hit my window in the morning as the wind blows through the trees and shakes the lake in front of the house, the gray, closed sky that remains even after the storm is gone, the night dark and cold, silent. None of this matters. But that smile, those eyes... those have haunted me for years and I do not even know who owns them. I've been trapped here in this house ever since I remembered and never cared much about it.

Eternity did not become any different from when I was a mortal, contrary to what I thought did not bring anything spectacular to my life. Just a unique knowledge that I acquired after having enough time to read everything I could about all things and travel enough around the world to learn about several things. One night I dreamed of those eyes; Brown, intense, full of life, love, freedom... the other night I dreamed with a smile. I believe it belongs to the same person, because it gaves me the same feeling as those intense eyes. But I've never dreamed of the two of them together, assembling a face, so I have no idea who they belong to. All I know is that when I dream of them I feel alive again. Since this began I try to sleep all the time to be able to dream again and who knows in one of those dreams I can put them together and find out who they belong to. When I became immortal a burden was given to me, a burden I did not want. Instead of doing what I should, I fled, I cut myself off from the world.

I found this house in the middle of nowhere where I could not hurt anyone. Sometimes I dream about the laughter of my son and my parents, I hear them echoing through this huge house even though they have never been here. At first I woke desperate, crying, reliving the last minutes beside them, my face bathed in tears, the blood, the twisted metal going through their bodies, my body... and then that man who appeared to me while I was delirious between life and death, offering the opportunity to save them all on the condition that I never see them again until I complete my mission. I did not even ask what the mission was. To save their lives I simply accepted and when I woke up my body was intact. He allowed me to see them one last time, as long as I did not approach them. Once again I agreed. I saw my son running with my father while playing in the backyard, my mother sitting with her huge belly, denouncing the end of gestation, smiling at them with a certain look of nostalgia on her face.

_"What is my mission?" I finally asked, staring at the mysterious man standing next to me._

_"You must collect ten souls for me." He said with a smile gracing his lips._

_“What? You must be crazy! What does it mean to collect ten souls?” I asked incredulously._

_"You got it, dearie.” He answered with a superior air. "You have a term of one year for that, and when that time is up, if I have the ten souls, then I'll let you go back to your family. Otherwise, you will never see them again, but you, you will live forever and remember that the only one that prevents this beautiful meeting is you.”_

_I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I felt my body trembling, my hands clenched into fists at the side of my body, my nails buried in my palms, blood starting to flow from my hands._

_“What souls should I collect for you?" I asked in the hope that at least they were already condemned souls._

_"You must bring ten pure souls for me. I don’t care if it's children, men, women, young or old. As long as there are ten pure souls.” He smiled and clasped his hands in front of his body._

_“This is crazy! I... I can’t do that.” I felt my chest tighten as I thought about it._

_"Then I don’t think you'll ever be able to join your family again, which is a pity. Imagine the joy of your child, of your parents knowing that you survived that terrible accident..." He said with a mocking tone._

_"You don’t have that right!" I winced unnecessarily._

_"Think about it, my dear. One year.” He laughed and vanished into the air through a red smoke._

I don’t know how long I stood there looking at nothing, I no longer saw the image of my son and my parents. My feet seemed stuck to the ground, grounded. Not even the heavy rain that began to fall made me leave. A long time later I finally managed to move and went in search of some place where I could discover something about this man, that is, whatever he is. I ended up going to some tribes, talking to some elders, sorcerers, all I could think of. Anything. Neither of them could offer me another way out of what was happening.

Six months had passed and I still had not created the courage to carry out the mission that the man entrusted to me. I wanted to be with my family, wanted to hug my son, my parents, wanted to meet my brother or sister, but how could I meet them at the expense of other people's lives? And the worst, innocent people! No, I could never do that. What comforted me was knowing that at least they were alive. They were fine and would end up getting on without me in their lives. As for me... well, one day I'd get used to it too.

When the one-year deadline came to an end, he came to me mockingly, saying how weak I was, how much I did not deserve the love of my family, how I had not been able to do a single task, or the price of being able to meet with them again. He pushed me to the limit, with every word he was saying my hatred was increasing and I think that's what he wanted, because when I finally exploded and went up on him, he just smiled contentedly. He handed me a dagger through laughter; **_Do it! C’mon! Stick that dagger in my chest!_** _He laughed and my hatred grew even more **. Do this and who knows you can become strong enough to see your family again! Do this and you may deserve what fate is offering you. Did you know your son is a very smart kid? He's a good boy. He prays every night for his mother to come home. Do not you want to be able to hug him one more time? Do not you want to be with him as he grows up? When he discovers the first love, when someone breaks his heart for the first time? When is he afraid to move on? Of course not! You're too weak to be beside him. You're a coward! You do not deserve the love and devotion of your son and that is why you will never be at his side again!**_

He succeeded, he pushed me to the limit and without knowing that I was really capable I stuck that dagger in his chest and when I made him feel he took care of me, as if I could do anything. Like I was the owner of the world. He laughed at me as the gleam in his eyes faded. **_It's done. Finally I can rest, as for you, dear damn angel, you will live forever without the love of your son or any other person, because no one is capable of loving a beast, a monster._** I stared in horror at the man in front of me. Suddenly he looked very, very old. His hair turned white and his skin wrinkled in such a way that he barely looked like a person. He was gone, but the smile remained on his face. A gloomy smile, just like him. I did not have to do anything about the body because it simply disappeared before my eyes leaving only the dagger in its place. A dagger of black cord and crooked blade, all drawn with patterns I didn’t know and centered my name; Emma Swan. Black wings appeared on my back, tearing my clothes. Wings large, strong, heavy, black like a glossy oil marked by a rainbow of strong colors. The man's blood was in my hands and I could not do anything.

As soon as I took the dagger it was as if I were swallowed into a vortex and thrown from side to side, feeling as if everything inside me were out of place. I felt my body hit the floor next and I extinguished. I don’t know how long, I have no idea where or how. When I woke up I tried to go to my family hoping that now, with that dead man I could join them again, but that was foolish of me. It seemed that there was a barrier that prevented me from approaching and when I tried to overcome it a voice echoed in my head. _Do this and they die._ That could not be true. Not after he'd destroyed that man. I disobeyed, I tried to break through the barrier.

I should have believed.

I should have known that things would not be simple. I accepted the mission to save them and when I did not fulfill them I still had a chance to keep them alive and because of my selfishness, because I thought I could do everything, I caused their death. I felt as if all the emptiness of the world filled me in that moment. _What good was it that I refused to take ten souls to that man and in the end I ended up losing more than one day I thought?_ I felt like the world was splitting into millions of pieces, as if I were disintegrating. I wandered the world like a shadow, never letting anyone see me, never letting anybody near me. It was better this way. It was the only way to prevent anyone else from getting hurt or dying because of me. I discovered that I could go in and out of the places without people seeing me, without even being noticed by them and it helped me. I began to search everywhere in the world about what that man might be, what that dagger represented, how I could get rid of it, if I could do that. Sometimes I tried to end my life, or immortality, whatever, but it proved impossible, no matter what I did.

I traveled the world and when it was interesting, it showed me to some people. As I had already done, I went after wizards, elders, tribes, all I could around the world to try to find out more about what that man was, about who I was now. I had eternity to discover this and nothing to do with my time. Every night I would talk to the moon, ask her to show me an answer, a way, a way ... and then after years of searching, getting information here and there I finally found out. That man was a black sorcerer. A black angel. A dark one. In each place he had a different name, but they all said the same thing; There was no other means of getting rid of the burden he had given me - and now I doubled, since I killed him - unless it was through love, that pure, true, or doing the same as he did with me. Offering the mission to another person or causing her to kill me. Well, those two options were out of the question. I had already lost my family, I would not let that happen to anyone else, even if I had to live with it forever.

I had two choices from there; To dwell on this pain in me, to let hatred dominate me or to do something to distract me, to make me overcome. The first few years I spent with a tribe in the middle of a forbidden forest in Peru, I learned everything they could teach me about everything. Medicinal herbs, cures, spells, legends, everything. I got a lot of knowledge about many things and when I felt it was time I left. They promised never to say anything about me to anyone and that was enough for me. Then I went to other countries, all in search of cultures like that that could somehow add to my knowledge and in one way or another I always found a tribe, an old man, a sorcerer, someone willing to let me be their apprentice . Over time I learned to deal with the pain of loss and discovered that after all, my family was at peace and that was enough for me. The train accident was no longer something that hurt me, I did not wake up in the middle of the night screaming for them, I did not wake up any more in the middle of the night with my face bathed in tears the feeling that my heart was being crushed. On the contrary, when I dream of them now, they are all always well, my son is always smiling, playing with me, with my father, with my little brother. My mother always smiles lovingly, that smile that always filled me with hope, always tells me not to lose faith, not to stop believing in love. My father is always beside her, always talking about how our family was good at overcoming the bad things that happened to us, how we were always together in one way or another. Even knowing what I did to them, they never looked at me with any feeling other than love and over time it was healing my wound, lessening the overwhelming pain I felt in my chest, filling a small part of that huge emptiness I felt after a while the dreams stopped, I barely slept.

On a certain night I ended up losing my temper by dreaming of that man again and before I could hurt anyone else I preferred to isolate myself from the world. I wandered through many places until I found this forest in the middle of nowhere and it seemed to me the perfect place. Away from all the people, far from everything. My powers allowed me to get food anywhere and anytime so I would not have to worry about it and with an abundant forest so I would easily find food from it if I wanted to. I built this house trying to use as little of my powers as possible and until I did not go wrong. When you live for a long time you have to go adapting the changes that the world presents and with me was no different. Many and many years had passed since I became this immortal creature and only lately I began to dream with those brown eyes and that smile. I had not felt this way since I was alive. Since I last saw my family in one of my dreams, a long time ago. But as that man said, no one would be able to love a monster and even if one day the owner of those eyes and smile would cross my path, it would be impossible to have her by my side, so it was good that I was isolated In the middle of nowhere and that would help me to stay safe from anything, just as I would keep other people safe from me.

I had been there for so long that I barely remembered the outside world, I barely remembered what it was like to talk to other people. I threw myself into this house of my own accord, thinking it was best for me, and maybe it was in fact the best thing for everyone, not just me. I would not know how to act if I ever found the owner of those eyes so intense and smile so captivating. How could I react to her without remembering what that man told me in his last moments? No. It was better that way.

I was lost in my thoughts, looking once again at the heavy rain knocking against my window when a noise caught my attention. They seemed to knock on the door ... that was impossible. No one should find this house. No one should get here. No. I should be hallucinating. The beats grew louder, more insistent. I huffed, dropping my book on the bed and went down to see what was happening.

When I opened the door I felt as if my heart had stopped beating and then resumed as if it were a runaway locomotive. That could not be happening. It must be a hallucination. Yes, that was it. Maybe if I closed my eyes and counted to ten, that image would disappear from my door and I did. I closed my eyes tightly and counted to ten, hoping that when I opened them again there would be nothing but the woods and the lake, but that was not what happened. When I opened my eyes, there he was. A boy about ten years old, short hair, light brown with greenish-brown eyes and a frightened expression. There was blood on his hands and on his face and part of his T-shirt. It terrified me and took me back to the day my family and I went through that train crash while traveling in the winter. I could not see anything, I could not breathe, I could not move, it seemed that after many years I was trapped in that nightmare again when the boy's desperate voice woke me up.

"Ma’am, you need to help my mother!" He asked me shaking, tears streaming down his little face.

"Kid, I... I can’t.” I replied slowly, shaking my head from side to side.

"You have to! She's dying. Our car... I don’t know, it was all very fast.” He held in my arms and I felt my heart tighten. _How could I save anyone if what I was supposed to do was collect people's souls? I could not risk it, they would be better off without me._

In an impulse I pulled away from him and closed the door, leaning my body against it and sliding until he felt the floor against me, hearing him scream louder and louder for help and kick my door. It was driving me crazy. I took a deep breath a few times and when I could calm my breathing I got up and opened the door, meeting his eyes again. If he was there he should have a reason. Maybe I was not a monster. Maybe I could do differently.

"All right, boy, let's go to your mother." I said looking around.

He took my hand and ran off, dragging me through the woods to the place where their car had flipped over. When I saw the state in which the car was felt my heart stopped. It was not possible that his mother was alive. In fact, it was a miracle _he_ was alive. Without me being able to think straight he dragged me to the car door and once again I felt like I was reliving one of the worst days of my life. I looked at the woman closely and realized she was still breathing. Weak, but she breathed. There were cuts on her face and some skinned. I asked him to move away and I began to see a way to get her out. I remembered the many things I learned and how I had developed my powers, and then with some effort and concentration I took her out of the car. I held her in my arms and looked at the boy next to me. His gaze was a mixture of thankfulness and apprehension.

"Kid, I need you to trust me now. I'm coming back to get you, do not leave here.” I asked looking into his eyes.

"I can go with you, I can still walk. I'm not hurt.” He answered a little terrified.

"Look, I promise I'll be right back. Do not leave here." I barely finished saying that, and I let my wings appear, free, expand, large, black, strong.

I took a flight and headed for my house. I was not quite sure what I would do from there but I needed to do something. When I arrived at my house I had some difficulty in getting my wings to disappear and then I ran with the stranger in my lap and took her to my room, putting her in my bed. She was unconscious, her breathing was irregular, there was a lot of blood on her body, but I could not find the wound. Suddenly a noise caught my attention and when I turned around her son was standing in the bedroom door.

"Kid, did not I tell you to wait there?" I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on what I would do to the woman in front of me.

“You are an angel?” He asked looking curiously. "Where are your wings?"

"Look, I promise I'll answer the questions I can, but now I need to focus on trying to help your mother, and for this I need you to be quiet, okay?" I asked as I carefully removed the thick coat she was wearing.

From the peripheral vision I saw him nod, and in slow, uncertain steps he approached the bed, circling and stopping before me on the other side. His curious eyes studied me and watched closely what I did with his mother. Even hurt I could see how beautiful she was. His brown hair, almost black that came to his shoulders, his features strong, his mouth well drawn, marked by a red lipstick and a scar on the top of his lip. I shook my head trying to push away any thought that was not to find a way to save it from my mind and carefully removed the red coat she wore beneath the other and lifted the T-shirt she wore. There was a deep cut in her abdomen and for a moment it scared me. I looked at the boy on the other side of the bed and he looked frightened, apprehensive.

"Hey, kid, I need you to do something for me.” I asked for a smile for him.

He just nodded and then I asked him to close his eyes and count to ten. He obeyed without objection and as I did so I placed my hands on the wound but not touching it, feeling the heat radiate from my palms to that stranger's body in front of me. The wound began to close and the bleeding was stalled. He opened his eyes when the count ended and looked at me with arched eyebrows. I could not help but remember my son. He looked the same when he was confused. It was as if I had seen him in front of me after so many years. I was confused, I did not know what to do now, I did not know what to say. After a few seconds of watching the stranger in my bed I finally asked him to stay with her while I was going to arrange some things so I could continue to take care of her and also take care of him.

I ran downstairs and grabbed a basin and some rags coming back to my room next. With the bowl in hand I went to the bathroom and filled it with hot water, it would be faster than waiting for the water to heat on the fire. When I returned to the room I plunged one of the cloths into the hot water and began to clean the area where I had the wound, cleaning as much as I could from the blood that had drained into his body. When I finished with her I called the boy to me and wiped his face, his hands and went to my wardrobe and I took a shirt and pants that were once my son's and gave it to him.

"I think that should suit you. You can take a shower if you want, I'll stay with your mom in the meantime.” I grabbed a towel and handed it to him.

"Thank you for saving my mother." He said and threw himself against me, grabbing my waist.

For a few seconds I just stood there, not knowing what to do and then hugged him a little awkwardly. He released me without saying anything and went to the bathroom. I sat on the other side of the bed, watching the woman who was not at all strange to me. Something about her was familiar. Something about her said I already knew her. I stroked her face softly, not wanting to wake her. A few minutes later the boy was back in the room and I stood up giving him room to lie down next to his mother. I'd wiped her face off and put a clean T-shirt on her while he was in the shower and let him settle down beside her covering them both.

“Are not you going to sleep?” He asked, watching me standing by the window.

“I do not always sleep. But you should. Need to rest.” I said turning to him.

“Why do not you sleep?” He asked me as he settled into bed.

“I can’t.” I replied, letting my shoulders relax a little. “What's your name?”

“Henry.” He smiled, holding out his hand in my direction. "Henry Daniel Mills, and yours?"

“Emma.” I said uncertainly whether to say the rest or not and took her hand in return.

He started asking me questions about my wings and about how I had healed his mother and I tried to answer them all in a limited way, but he was smart, he knew I was avoiding his questions. Some time later he fell asleep and I stayed there, watching the sleep of the two, hoping that his mother woke up at the same time something was stirring inside me and it was terrifying me. I feared losing control over them for whatever reason. I did not know what was leaving me like this and what could happen. A fight was waged in my chest as the hours of the day passed and I watched them, unable to leave, unable to move a muscle that was.

When night came I lit some lamps in the house and sat in the armchair next to the bed, checking the woman's temperature and where her wound was. Her breathing was steady, calm, her temperature steady, and beside her the boy slept peacefully. On an impulse I stroked her face as I watched her sleep, thinking what her eyes would look like when she was awake, whether they would be like her son's, greenish brown or whether they would be green, blue, brown ... suddenly those eyes of my dreams invaded my memory and I closed my eyes, trying to scare away this vision. I shook my head heavily and when I opened my eyes again what I found before me made me feel again that day as if my heart stopped. The stranger was awake. Her intense brown eyes looked at me confused and frightened. She made to sit down and I gently held her in place.

“Shhh... it's okay.” I said trying to calm my breathing. "You and your son had an accident. He got to me and asked for help. You are well.”

"Why did not you take us to a hospital?" She asked suspiciously, her voice hoarse, coming out a little louder than a whisper.

"I live in the middle of nowhere, I do not have a car, and yours... well, I do not think he can get them anywhere." I answered, feeling my heart beat so hard I feared she could hear. _Was her. It had to be her._

"What kind of person lives in the middle of nowhere?" She looked at me suspiciously.

"The kind of person who is better alone than in the middle of other people.” I answered vaguely. "Look, lady, I will not harm you. Just rest and as soon as you're feeling better you can leave. It's already night, it's not good to go out at this time. Your son is fine, he's sleeping here, by your side.”

She seemed to consider what I said, looking at the sleeping boy beside her and turning to me again.

“He is fine? Was Henry hurt?”

“He is fine.” I answered removing my hands from her arms. "I don’t know how, but he wasn’t hurt.”

I saw her look at the boy for a few moments and then she looked back at me, still suspicious, but seemed to analyze me, try somehow to find out if I was telling the truth when I said I would not hurt them and I wanted, wanted very achieve this. After so many years I felt alive again. Something in me seemed to want to overflow, and I feared what that might entail. I stood abruptly and walked to the window, staring at the dark, silent night that now took over.

“What's your name?” I heard she ask quietly.

“Emma.” I answered taking a deep breath and turning to face her.

"Thank you, Emma.” - She answered with a smile and at that moment I felt as if everything around disappeared. _Was her._

I felt everything darken around and my heart beat racing. As fast as before. The woman I'd been dreaming about for years was there before me. I had saved her life. Somehow she was there. Somehow I had saved her. I felt as if I were drowning, as if an invisible hand were squeezing my heart and throat at the same time.

**_You fool! Do you think she can break your curse? I told you, nobody, nobody in this world can love a monster!_** The voice of that man was in my mind again after all those years, terrifying me, pushing me to the limit as he always did. **_Don’t be silly! You are a monster! She will never love her. As for the boy, he looks a lot like yours, does not he? I think he has the same eyes._** I heard him laughing in my mind, sending a wave of anger all over my body. I knew what he was trying to do and could not let him do it. **_No! Enough! Go away! I'm not a monster!_** I shook my head forcefully in the attempt to make it disappear as the stranger's voice called to me in the distance. Gradually I calmed down and that man disappeared from my head, leaving only her voice hoarse in the room.

“Are you alright?” She asked, standing in front of me.

I don’t know when she got up, I don’t know when she came to me, but it scared me. The thought that I might have gotten out of control with her so close to me terrified me and I could not say anything. I could not breathe, I could not think. I felt her hug me and whisper in my ear that everything was fine. A few seconds later she released me and ran her hand over my face and then I knew she was crying.

"Emma, look at me." She asked, taking gently on my chin and lifting up. “What happened?”

"Nothing... I... I just remembered something that I buried for many years. I’m sorry. I must have frightened you.” I said, smiling weakly. "I'll let you rest, I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

She looked at me confused, but released me, allowing me to walk toward the door to leave the room.

“Regina.”

“Excuse me?” I turned to her and there was that smile again.

“My name. I know, you did not ask..." She looked awkward, her cheeks were slightly flushed.

“Yes! What a mistake!” I walked back to her, pausing a few steps, holding me so I would not touch her. "You must think I'm gross. I’m sorry.”

“I understand. It's all right. It's not anyone who welcomes strangers into their own house..." Regina smiled awkwardly. "But I need to ask you something."

“Yes?" For some reason I was afraid of what she might ask.

"Where are the clothes I was wearing?" She was staring at me with arched eyebrows.

“They were dirty, I changed them. Forgive me the boldness.” I replied blushing.

"Was I hurt?" She asked me with a frightened expression.

"A little, but I've cleaned up most of your injuries.” I replied, smiling weakly at her. "I'll prepare something for you to eat, you must be hungry. Excuse me. "

Before she could respond I left the room and went down to the kitchen. I looked at the things I had available in my cabinets and refrigerator and thanked me for making that soup the night before. I took some of the soup and heated it up, taking it to her then.

"Here, you'll help you." I smiled when I saw her smell the mug and close her eyes.

“The smell is great!” She sat down on the bed and sipped the soup.

"After you done, I'd like you to have some tea. It will help heal any possible internal injuries.” I asked as I watched her take the soup.

She just nodded and continued to sip the liquid from the mug. When she finished I went downstairs and made some tea I had learned during the time I spent in Peru. I had planted most of the plants I knew during my travels around the world, not because I thought someone would knock on my door for help, but because growing them had become a pastime for me and helping to calm me down. I brought the tea to her and I could not help but laugh as she took a sip of the liquid and made a face.

"Definitely smell better than taste." She teased, smiling openly.

Each time she smiled or looked at me with those intense brown eyes I felt a part of me breaking and then redoing. I lost myself in my thoughts, my dreams, the images of my son, my parents, the happy dreams I had with them for some time and then the dreams I had with those eyes and that smile. I felt her gaze burning on me, her curious eyes scrutinized me every moment and I wondered where she came from, how the world she lived in, how the world would be today. I realized it was locked in too long. Long enough not to know for sure how the outside world was.

“Ask.” I finally looked at her. "I know you have questions for me."

"How did you get me out of the car by myself?" She was looking at me with one eyebrow arched and made another grimace with every sip of tea.

“I'm strong.” I decided to use my best exit, the joke. “Look.”

I flexed my arms exposing my muscles that were marked under the long-sleeved T-shirt I was wearing and saw her looking at me in a different way.

“Awesome, Emma.” She replied smiling at the corner and I felt something different in her voice. "You said my car could not get me anywhere any more- I suppose it got pretty bad then."

"It's a miracle you and your son are alive. Your car was destroyed.” I answered automatically, and I narrowed my eyes when I realized what I had said.

"If my car was so destroyed, how could you, alone, get me out of there?" She asked, taking a few steps toward me.

"I already told you. I am very strong. " I replied trying to control my breathing.

"I do not doubt it, Emma.” She further narrowed the distance between us and I could feel my heart racing again.

Ever since that kid showed up at my door late in the morning, it was becoming commonplace that day. What I hadn’t felt for years, I was feeling all at once and several times that day. I can’t say why, but I just couldn’t help looking into those intense brown eyes. I gasped as I felt her slide the tip of her finger over my arm, squeezing lightly.

"Look, Emma, I believe in your strength and I believe you, but I know you're not telling me everything.” Her voice was soft, dangerously soft. "Don’t you think I deserve to know the truth about my savior?"

"I'm not a savior." I whispered, finally averting my eyes from hers, lowering my head.

“Of course you are! I still don’t know what you're not telling me, but I'm sure you saved me.” Regina lifted my chin gently, smiling at me. "Look, I don’t know how you did it, but you saved me. I remember the accident, I vaguely remember how my car stayed and then everything went dark... after I dreamed that I was flying, but not like in my dreams, it was like I was in the arms of an angel. I think you were that angel.”

"That kind of sight is normal in accidents like that.” I replied, trying to sidestep the subject. "I'm not a savior, let alone an angel.

I could not avoid the pain in my voice, the memory of my family, that man ... having them there at the same time that made me feel alive again, I remembered the most painful moments of my life and this was causing confused emotions in me . I was getting scared to lose control and end up doing something that I could regret.

"What do you remember about the accident?" I decided to test how far she knew.

"I remember we were going down the road and the rain was heavy. I was driving carefully, Henry was sitting in the backseat with the belt and I turned to him for a few seconds and when I looked ahead again there was a man standing in the middle of the road. I don’t know... I could not see right, I just turned away and then it was all confusing.”

I stared at her for a few seconds, assessing what she was saying, but could not think of anything. Her presence clouded my thoughts. All that came into my mind were the dreams I had with her smile and her eyes. The dim light from the lamps gave her even greater beauty, her skin pale under the moonlight that entered through the large window on one side and contrasted with the light of the lamp on the other. Her intense brown eyes stared at me expectantly as I tried to process everything she told me about the accident. As I watched her I saw an expression of pain pass through her face and her body arching. I held her quickly, preventing her from going to the floor and putting her back on the bed. With the scream of pain she gave the boy woke up scared and looked at us with wide eyes.

"Emma, what's going on?" He asked sitting on the bed.

"I do not know, kid.” I laid her down, and with her eyes I asked for permission by lifting her blouse next.

The cut was there again. It was bleeding again. I did not understand why. Had I healed her earlier then because the cut was there again and looking even worse than before? **_You do not understand, do you? You can not save it by using your powers. His powers are death, not life. As long as you're stuck with this curse, you will not be able to save anyone through your powers._** The man's voice echoed in my head and I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head in an attempt to startle him and concentrate on what I could do. Her and Henry's voices seemed very far away, I seemed to be inside a pool, deep in them and they on the surface calling me. I felt Regina's hand on mine and a chill ran down my spine waking me from this kind of trance.

“I'll be right back.” I turned my gaze between them and did not bother to use the stairs, just disappearing in my smoke and going to the greenhouse where I cultivated so many plants and flowers and things that could give in good medicine and cures.

My thoughts ran through all the years and places I went through trying to think of a combination that could help me. _Calm down, child. Breathe deeply. Look around._ A new voice echoed in my head and I recognized her as one of the old women I met while I was in Peru.

“What do I do?” I asked aloud, desperate.

_You know your power will not be able to help you now. You need to stop the bleeding, you need something to close and heal that wound._

I turned and started hurrying through the various rows of plants and flowers, picking up the ones I needed and transporting me to the kitchen, starting to prepare the mixture that would make her bleeding stop in the first place. While boiling a few leaves of the necessary herbs I picked up a clay pot and began to knead some flowers and leaves that I would have to mix with what was in the fire. When everything was ready I moved into the room again and Regina looked at me startled.

“What are you?” She asked me trying to stop me from getting close to her, her voice hoarse and weak, she struggled to keep her eyes open.

"Regina, I need to pass this on your wound so the bleeding stops. Once we figure that out, I'll answer any questions I can.” I said firmly, looking into her eyes.

"Mom, let Emma take care of you. She is not bad. She's an angel.” Henry said desperately beside her.

“An angel?” Regina alternated her gaze between her son and me slowly.

“Yes mom. An angel. With wings and everything. She took you out of the car and brought you flying here.” Henry said and I realized that her expression softened a bit, letting me approach.

"It's going to hurt a little." I said with a weak smile and I prepared to apply the mixture in its wound. “Kid, get some clean towels for me. They're in the second drawer of the dresser.”

He nodded and got up quickly following my instructions and placing beside me some towels, skirting the bed next and going to his mother's side. I started to apply the mixture over the wound in her abdomen and she cursed low when it burned. I looked at the t-shirt I had put on it and the blanket on my bed and both were drenched with blood. This despaired me, took me back to the day of the accident, the day my life became this martyrdom. It took me back to the day I lost my parents and my son forever. The tears began to come down without me being able to control it and I was beginning to lose control.

Anger was taking hold of me, for I was again putting other people's lives at risk because of the burden I was carrying. I felt my eyes burn with tears, and I saw Regina even paler than before. The short time it took me to pick up the flowers and plants and prepare them was enough for her to lose enough blood I was afraid it was too late. An increasing hatred settled in my chest as I stared at Regina's pale face. I felt the heat radiating all over my body and then my wings expanded, making a breath of wind in the room and as a reflection the brunette opened her eyes. Henry was looking at me charmingly, a confident smile. I felt his little hands on my face, wiping away my tears.

“I know you can do it. You must be Mama's guardian angel.” He said holding my face with his little hands.

"I'm not a guardian angel, kid. But I promise I will do everything I can to save your mother.” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment.

The image of my parents came to my mind and they smiled at me. _Emma, what have we told you about your fears? You can not lose faith. You can not help but believe that you can be saved. And let alone stop believing that you can save someone. We know you can do it._ I smiled at that, smirking at them faintly as if in an old worn-out photograph. Where is my boy? I asked feeling like I was in a dream. _He's with you, Emma. You do not see? He believes in you. He knows you'll be able to save not only Regina, but you, too. Now do not waste any more time. Go. Save it. Save yourself._ They disappeared, and as I opened my eyes Henry looked at me smiling, even more confident than before. I smiled back at him and continued to apply the mixture to Regina's wound. When I covered it completely with that, I picked up the basin I had used earlier and went into the bathroom pouring hot water and going back to the room. I wiped the blood that had run down her belly and her back so that I did not have to move her too much and then carefully removed her T-shirt and put her on the other side of the bed, taking another piece of clean clothing and putting it on. I carefully removed the blood-soaked blanket and laid it on the bed, taking a clean blanket and covering it. I checked their beats and they were weak but stable.

I walked over to Henry who was sitting in the armchair next to the bed and knelt uncomfortably in front of him. The wings ruffled some things, but for some reason I could not get them to disappear. When I knelt down he looked at me smiling and touched my face.  
"I knew you could do it."

"Thank you for not giving up, kid. I need you to stay here for a bit while I prepare more of this mixture and I'll make tea for your mother. You are hungry?” I asked, holding his hands between mine.

"You may think so, but you are an angel. Even if it's not a guardian angel. And angels are good. You is good.” He said and without my waiting he put a kiss on my face and hugged me.

I felt like my life was made of light again. The second I hugged him I felt as if I were hugging my son again. We will always meet. The phrase that my parents used to speak echoed in my mind and I saw them smiling as if they were there before me, but the voice of this phrase was not theirs but my son's. I felt Henry hug me harder and before I started to think I was going crazy after so many years I ended up letting go and caressing his face, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“I'll be right back, kid." I got up and moved into the greenhouse again.

I took what I thought was enough for two more changes of the mixture over the wound and for the tea and went back to the kitchen. While preparing the herbs and plants for Regina I also put the soup to warm up for Henry and when everything was ready I set it on a tray and went up. I handed him the mug with the soup and watched him take everything quickly, licking his lips and running his hand over his belly. Just like my son used to. I felt my chest tighten with it at the same time my heart seemed to beat like a runaway locomotive. We talked for a while about the things he liked to do until I heard Regina's hoarse, low voice chiding him.

"Henry, what did I tell you about sleeping late?"

“Mom!” He got up and ran to her on the bed and before he threw himself on her I held him.

"Take it easy, Henry. Your mother is still recovering.” I smiled and ran my hand through his hair, releasing it.

He sat beside her on the bed and the brunette looked at me with an expression that passed between curious and fascinated. I stood at the side of the bed with my hands behind me and looking at her in silence. I knew I would have to answer a lot of questions and did not know how to do it, as I feared she would hate me. Even knowing her less than twenty-four hours, I felt like I knew her a lot longer and did not want to disappoint her. I handed her a mug with the tea and she complained about having to drink it again and I could not help but laugh. She tried to keep her pose, but when she put the liquid in her mouth she made an adorable grimace and I smiled like a teenager one day I went. I saw her blushing in front of me and I lowered my eyes too blushing.

“You need to rest. I managed to contain the bleeding, but you lost a lot of blood.” I said approaching the bed and taking the mug that she extended empty for me. "Good girl, you took everything."

She held out her tongue as a child would and Henry laughed loudly at our side. Before I could walk away Regina took my hand and once again our gazes connected.

"You saved me again."

I felt the warmth of her palm beneath mine and my heart beat faster, her smile cherished me and seemed to rebuild every part that was still missing in me. I was scared at the same time I was hoping. For the first time in years I was allowing myself to hope again, even though I knew that nothing could possibly work. The man's voice threatened to invade my thoughts and I struggled to pull it away, replacing it with the voices of my parents and the things they said while I was trying to save her. I smiled weakly at the brunette in front of me and with some cost undid the contact of our hands.

"But because of me, you almost died." My voice came out in a whisper.

"But I did not die, and you found a way to save me. Twice in a single day. This is more than anyone has ever done for me. Thanks.” She said taking my hand again. “Your wings...”

"I know I said I was not an angel, but you understand, I did not... I did not want you to think I'm a monster or something." I Said looking into her eyes and I was enjoying seeing them more and more, it was a feeling of losing myself and meet me in every look and that made my heart beat as fast as the times I flew.

"Emma, you're not a monster. I do not know what ails you, I do not know what pains you carry, but you saved me. Nothing can change that fact.” She pulled me gently toward her and I sat on the edge of the bed without breaking eye contact. "I can see in your eyes that you are afraid, but you have saved me and my son.”

“Henry was not hurt.” I replied confused.

"Physically not, but what would he look like if you had not been able to save me?" Regina alternated her gaze between her son and me and then I understood.

She stroked my face in a way that made my heart beat so unruly, so fast that I thought it might come out of my chest.

Her face was close to mine and I could feel our breaths coming together and even though I wanted to kiss her, Henry's presence there frizzed me. I was afraid of what he might think, how he might react. My eyes were stuck to Regina's, I saw my reflection in her iris and what I saw there was a different Emma, an Emma who smiled, who was happy. I felt Regina's other hand caressing the other side of my face and before I could think of anything I felt her lips brush against mine, a slow, shy brush, as if testing to see what my reaction would be. As she pressed her lips harder against mine, any thought faded from my mind and I brought my hands to her face as I felt her tongue slide over mine. I felt tears stream down my face and blend into our kiss, felt something changing inside me, it seemed like I was disintegrating and redoing myself.

I felt her hands tangled in my hair and I took one of my hands to the nape of her neck. I felt all that fear going away, that burden that was given to me one day seemed to be disappearing. As the kiss gained intensity I watched my whole life pass like a movie, I felt my heart beating fast, I felt the gray days going away and being replaced by sunny days, I felt all the pain disappear and be replaced with happiness. Regina slid her hands down my arms and rested them on my waist. We closed the kiss little by little and stood with our foreheads glued together, looking into each other's eyes.

"I dreamed of this kiss for a long time.” The brunette said looking into my eyes and breathing still breathless.

“What... What do you mean?” I asked confused.

"I really dreamed about this kiss. I never saw the person clearly, but I could feel the full intensity of the kiss every time I dreamed about it.” Regina looked at me intensely, smiling and stroking my face. "I do not know how it's possible or what the real meaning of it is, but I now know it was you."

Regina barely finished speaking and kissed me again and I felt the rest of the void being filled. The pains that I carried for so many years, the guilt, the fears, everything was fading and being replaced by something new. Hope, love, happiness. As I kissed her the image of my parents came to my mind, as if they were imprinted on my closed eyelids. They smiled, happy, satisfied, proud.

“Emma, your wings.” I heard Henry's voice in the distance, and I freaked out, ending the kiss and meeting Regina's eyes. I could hear a certain fascination in his voice, but I did not understand why.

She caught my wings and her gaze brightened even more. I felt Henry touch them behind me, and gradually I came up with the courage to see what was making them happy. When I looked at them, my wings were not black as night, but white. As white as a cloud or a cotton field.

"I knew you were an angel!" Henry threw himself on my lap and hugged me.

I could not move, I did not know what to think or how to feel exactly. What was happening anyway? _Are you free. Fate was fulfilled. You no longer need to fear._ A soft voice echoed in my mind and it made me want to smile. _How is this possible?_ I asked confused. _Just as you dreamed of Regina, she dreamed of you. Just as you faced the pains of losing someone, so did she. You were meant for a long, long time, but no one could interfere in the path of either. No one could hasten this meeting, nor delay it. It would happen when both were ready. Ready to move on. That burden you've been given is gone, Emma. Everything is gone. It's over. However, you remain an angel. A different angel, after all, everything with you has always been like this, has not it? You are the rarest angel in the world. You're free to do what you want, Emma Swan._

When I opened my eyes again the first thing I did was look for the dagger with my name and when I held it I saw it disappear before me. It turned to dust and slipped between my fingers, floating up and disappearing completely. I looked at Regina and Henry and they both smiled at me.

"Emma, are you our guardian angel?" He asked approaching me.

"I don’t know, kid, but if you want I can be.” I answered lowering myself to be on his height.

He hugged me again and looking over his shoulder I met Regina's gaze and what I saw there was something different. Charm, fascination and risk saying love. Yes love. I do not know what would happen from now on, but knowing that I was free and could live without fear filled me with hopes and faith. I undid Henry's embrace and walked over to her, holding her face in my hands and kissing her again. I felt her hands on my waist and then on my back, hugging me, pressing me against her. As we ended the kiss I buried my head in the hollow of her neck and felt she stroking my hair. Saving someone is not just saving from death, saving someone can be in many ways. I rescued her, but I also rescued Henry. I knew exactly how he would feel if I had failed. I knew how the pain of loss was, the pain of not being able to do anything to save those you love. I was not a monster at all. And even less a damn angel. I was just an angel.


End file.
